In Jordan I experienced a number of exploitative relationships. With the case of a girl from China, I would often wonder ‘what the hell was I thinking’.
I first met this girl back in 2009 and was somewhat intrigued as she was a Turk from China, which seemed unusual. She also seemed very quiet (which I now think is because she did not know any English). There were hardly any Chinese in Amman at that time and so I said I’d teach her English if she taught me Chinese, but it never happened.
Over time I saw her bad character. At the beginning I use to feel sorry for her as she talked a lot about how the Chinese government oppresses her people. Regarding that, I remembered hearing something (back in London) on the news (CNN I think). Apparently, they were not allowed to fast in the month of Ramadan!
After she had been very rude to me I saw no real friendship and started to realize about how she intended little in the way of improving the situation in China. That she was well and truly oppressing herself with a form of nationalism. China had become, by this time, the number two economy in the world. Something to make the most of I thought.
In Egypt, the Uyghurs I met (as the Turks of China are known) were generally polite, well-mannered, worked hard and positive about life and other people, including Chinese people. Sure, there were issues at the state level, but then the regular Chinese also criticized their government a little.
I met a lot of Chinese, but had no idea that some of them were Uyghur until one of them met me in the street one day and introduced herself properly (in almost perfect English). Until then I could not tell the difference, although, by that time (2014), I had learned about them as part of a course on the history of China. So in Egypt, over time, I really started to like the Uyghur.
As for the one in Jordan, what was her problem?
After I returned to England (2010), I did not talk to her much, but later she started to tell me about her problems (via Facebook) and I started to see some commonality between us.
A few years on, I found myself in Jordan again. Due to medical treatment, I was stuck there and after a re-union with some former students of the language centre, I learned (from the Korean) that the Chinese Turk was still in Jordan and had stopped talking to her after the Korean had been unable to attend a meet-up. Felt I’d better let her know that I am in Jordan, lest she also become angry with me too.
So I did let her know and she started to call me and as time went on the calls became longer and longer (and in English). Being in the same city, but only communicating via the phone became tedious for me and I suggested that we meet.
We met not far from her Arab foster family and we ended up sitting there for a while (and talking in English of course). At the end of it I felt quite guilty. Here was a naive young lady who had suffered much stress and depression in the last few years. Even I noticed the white hairs on her head and she was only twenty-five years of age. Had I been selfish? Was I only meeting her because I felt isolated in Jordan?
I wanted to help her and in the medium term even suggested I’d be her older brother if she wanted. I had already re-acquainted her with our Korean friend (and former colleague) and that had made her glow a bit more 🙂 Thought I was doing something right for a change. However, as soon as the anti-Chinese rhetoric started, I started to feel like I might have actually done something wrong.
From the way she talked, it started to look like she was suffering from severe depression, may be bipolar or something of the sort. She even made statements such as having the wrong genes or the wrong family background or born with the wrong nationality, etc.
I started to wonder; to what extent was the people’s republic of China responsible for this girl’s extreme outlook on life? Perhaps the Chinese government ought to revise its policy towards the Uyghur and other ethnic groups. Their current policies were clearly not working and brewing something very unhealthy. Or perhaps this individual was merely narcissistic? I was never certain.
She was a little obsessed with looks (her own, her tribe and other people) and asked me at least once if she was beautiful. Stranger than this, she would at times sound very religious and talk the talk. Other times, she would sound very ungrateful and at least once she sounded blasphemous! I tried to advise her, even about the racism, but it made no difference.
She was studying a degree in Arabic at WISE university and wanted to start looking for a job before she graduated. So I helped her with her CV and setting up a profile on various job and career sites. She wanted more, she wanted me to teach her IT in exchange for her teaching me Chinese. However, I wanted to enroll on a calligraphy course, a Turkish language course and an Arabic colloquial course and did not have time to do more. That did not go down too well with her…she even started making preparations.
Unfortunately, our friendship became a little abusive and immature. She often asked what sort of woman I wanted to marry. I answered X, Y and Z and she took that to mean herself. I clarified that ideally I wanted to marry Chinese, which was true to some extent, but actually the race mattered not as much as the character, so any girl would do – even Korean or Arab. She even asked if I wanted to marry her, but added that I was not her type. I replied that I was not interested, but even if I was, I would not, since her hatred for Chinese was bad for business.
Six months later (after I had become tired of her racist tendencies and her negativity about Jordan and of Arab women) she called me and demanded that I speak to her in English when talking about personal stuff (which was always the topic of the day), otherwise she would hang up!
I’d been struggling with locals and foreigners trying to get me to teach them English for free. As a defense, my mind was often, with limited grammar and vocabulary, in Arabic mode, which I could not always control and in the long run may have contributed to brain damage, (but that could of been more because of my bad experiences in the retarded language centres).
On average, I was harassed at least once a week and met a new harasser once a month.
For this reason, my mind was in Arabic mode when the Chinese-hating Turk telephoned me. As a result, she really did hang up. After that we had a bit of an unfriendly exchange (by SMS/TXT) and then the silence. It was difficult at first (probably because I was far from home, family and (my real) friends), but then I felt relieved: freedom from her corruption at last!
I could not believe that I had put up with her for so long, when I really owed her nothing. Why on earth had I contacted her in the first place?
Later, the other reality also dawned on me. How would our mutual fun-loving, chilled-out Korean friend react? In the long term she stopped talking to me too and I felt sad at first. Was that because she was the only friend I had in Jordan?
Later, I realized that they were almost as bad as each other, tired of the Arabic language and culture and simply wanting to learn English; migrate to the UK or the USA and in love with money. This is what drew them to me.
Sometimes it feels like the noble act can also be foolish!
Arabian Misadventures 